“Would you rather be divinely beautiful, dazzlingly clever, or angelically good?” –Anne Shirley
Watching Anne of Green Gables: a staple event for any woman that must be repeated throughout her life. I recommend repeating frequently to keep your emotional reservoir full and see representations of every possible emotion a girl heart can feel. There is an Anne in all us women, just waiting to declare, “I’m lost in the depth of despair!”
This week I could have screamed that statement, followed by wailing it, and then melting onto the floor in gasps of sobbing. This is only minutely dramatic.
Can you identify with the feeling that God has connected so many areas of your life, each theme clasping the heal of the one before, making long the way God chooses to speak to you? It almost terrifies me.
First theme: a broken heart. For the blogging world I will say that God is the author of springtime and to awaken this before time is due is a painful reality. To quote my favorite song: “I can’t force the sun to rise or hasten summers start, neither should I rush my way into your heart.” (Love is Waiting by Brooke Fraser)
Second theme: faithfulness. I heard Dave Kraft speak back in February about choosing a fruit of the Spirit as one of your themes. Study it, see it in God’s character, and pray for it. In August, I choose faithfulness. God has shown me in a season of really seeing my sin-that He has been faithful to be my help: my salvation.
Third theme: treasure. A friend had a dream about me. There I was digging into the dirt on the coast of an island. Wiping the sweat from my forehead with my forearm, I was determined. People thought I was foolish. But I kept digging. With the promise that I would eventually find the treasure I sought. So what is my treasure?
"indeed, if you call out for insight
and cry aloud for understanding,
and if you look for it as for silver
and search for it as for hidden treasure,
then you will understand the fear of the LORD
and find the knowledge of God. (the Word is my treasure)
[ The Parables of the Hidden Treasure and the Pearl ] “The kingdom of heaven is like treasure hidden in a field. When a man found it, he hid it again, and then in his joy went and sold all he had and bought that field.
Fourth theme: waiting. God has winterized my desires, putting my hope into a season of waiting. I thought for sure that once you are aware of the season the Lord has brought you into that it is soon to end. It’s time to move to the next lesson, right? Not so, this winter season is long and it has just begun. I’m waiting, deeply seeding prayer into God.
Fifth theme: Hope in God. The beauty of a woman is her hope in God. Hope is the unwavering confident expectation that what God has promised will be coming in the future. It is not the lip-biting gaze of wishing. Hope is faith in the future.
“Why are you down cast, O my soul, and why are you in turmoil within me? Hope in God for I shall again praise him, my salvation and my God.”
Sustain me, my God, according to your promise, and I will live; do not let my hopes be dashed.
Do any of the worthless idols of the nations bring rain? Do the skies themselves send down showers? No, it is you, LORD our God. Therefore our hope is in you, for you are the one who does all this.
May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.
1 Timothy 5:5
The widow who is really in need and left all alone puts her hope in God and continues night and day to pray and to ask God for help.
Sixth theme: humility. That was the theme of this week. Not only did it begin with a Sunday sermon on "Blessed are the meek for they shall inherit the land," it continued throughout the week. Whence came my episode of "depths of despair" on the kitchen floor. I was told of my weaknesses in the classroom and then asked repeatedly for observations, causing me to be anxious that I’d lose my job. Partially ridiculous: but a used time to draw me close to the Lord and desperate for his help.
As I was thinking on humility-it made sense that if one was to hope in God, you’d need to be humbled outside of your ability to hope, causing you to draw in the reservoir of hope to wait on the Lord, to find Him as my treasure and to remain faithful despite my broken heart.