Wednesday, May 5, 2010
I remember the moment my heart broke
I remember the moment
My heart broke.
My leg stuck to the green vinyl boot-seat
I looked across the restaurant to the mirror wall.
It was my favorite place to eat because of the beautiful wall.
Waves of colored mirror: green and pink-swept over the wall.
Taking a step back, you can see the waves made flowers-huge peonies.
I could see everyone in the restaurant from this vantage point.
It was someone’s birthday,
The candles dance in the pink peony.
Mom and I sat across from each other,
Touching my hand, her face now serious.
As a Hollywood line cue,
“I’ve got something to tell you.”
I, a young eleven year old, happily waited.
“Dad and I are getting a divorce.”
No movements from the restaurant,
The servers had no orders to attend
Customers held their forks inches from their mouth.
Then the moment happened.
The air flowed into my throat and caught just behind my swallow.
Muscles pulled, tightened and would contract
The roof of my mouth beginning to quiver.
My cheeks tingled below my eyes, working to form tears and shoot them into my eyes.
But my heart
It had no lady-like composure.
The same moment
You fell to your knees and tore your clothes, heaping ashes upon your head,
Reaching behind your shoulder, you grabbed your
Most perfect arrow (Ps 127:3-4)
The son you loved, called beloved (John 3:16)
Looking upon my heart, desperate and needy,
Love reached into the quiver,
Pulled the solitary arrow. Quiver empty, your cherished arrow aimed for the hearts of hateful man.
“The divine dilemma: two loves. And one would demand the sacrifice of another” (B. Moore).
You laid the arrow, clicking into the bow, aimed for
Pulled back and released, snap!
“and she brought forth her firstborn son, and wrapped him in swaddling clothes and laid him in the manger “ (Luke 2:7).
to be continued…